I remember those days vividly still. I would come running out to the door hearing the scooter's noise. Of the thousands of scooters running inside the colony, I knew which brought me back my dad. As soon as he came I would shout mixed words in a childish glee with a huge toothy smile. Coming home was always a thing my dad looked forward to as we welcomed with squeals of laughter and joy. He would go to ship for 15 days shift, which were confused, and troubled days for mother as we showered her with so many unanswerable questions. When he came back, I would try revolting by not talking to him for some time (maximum 5 minutes) trying to pretend to be cross with him. And then I would laugh uncontrollably with him, jump, dance and climb all over him and would not let him sit down at all! Every day was festive when dad was home.He taught me rhymes with almost all famous Hindi/Tamil movie tunes making it easy to by-heart all the rhymes (I still remember some of the most complex ones). He made up funny, exciting songs for every occasion through which he taught me lots of important lessons like 'u should always eat home cooked food made by Amma' and the likes... you know... I used to sit on his warm and cozy lap and listen to the innumerable songs and stories he had.
When I was ill, I used to wake him up every 5 minutes asking..
"What are you doing?"
He would reply: "Im doing homework".
"Will your teacher scold you if you don't do it?"
"Maybe!"
And one day I asked him finally...
"Who is your teacher?"
"Ajay uncle"(name changed to protect privacy ;) )
That was the day when there was created an uneasiness in me when I saw uncle. I knew deep inside that he could punish, scold or probably even thrash my dad's knuckles!! Uncle's daughter was my sister's classmate. Again I had this uneasiness with her too thinking that when her dad could be my dad's teacher, then probably she could scold my sister too. Too bad! Teachers should be abolished I thought. I was happy though that Amma dint have teachers... Disappointed I let him 'do his homework' and slept on his lap. He allowed me to crawl in and be there and I kept looking at his homework. Strange scribbling he did there ...Worse than me!! I thought only I scribbled like a hen picking on worms. But then..! anyway those were the kinda days I had, the table full of huge maps by a Geologist dad who would bring work to home (and then scribble on them) to be with his children.
Suddenly I came to terms with the present and woke up with a jerk just to realize that I was in the company bus that had almost reached my stop. I was feeling so fresh after those nostalgic memories. My colleague sitting next to me was glaring at me as if two horns were peeping out of my head. I excused myself and got down from the bus.
I reached home, and after dinner sat down going through some work related documents. My dear father sat near me and enquired lovingly;
"What are you doing?"
Without even bothering to look up, almost completely drowned in the document, I replied, "It is a document that I have to understand and prepare a report"...u know..
He proceeded enthusiastically: "What is it about?"
"It is related to my project. It is about ...." And I explained a bit with some strain.
"Ok" and he got up and after some time(no idea exactly how long) he gave me a glass of milk and asked again "How long will you stay awake?"
"Don't know. Will try and finish soon"
"Here. Have this milk. "
"Eeeeee! I don't want that. Please pa..."
"Ok so how is this report going to help you..........."
After a couple of explanations, I quit and said, "oh dad! you wont understand please... it's a bit complicated.....its a new technology that..bla bla"
Next day in the bus I thought about that childhood incident and my behavior last night. My dad... at the busiest sphere of his career with presentations, meetings and seminars going on the whole day, had the energy and patience to come down and explain things to a 4 year old in the way she understood. On the other hand, there was 'Me' whose work pressure was nothing in front of my father's stress level in that age, who could not bother to even reply properly to my aged father. Shey! The incident had left a heavy residue of guilt and shame.
Thinking such, I went to work with a heavy heart thinking of spending some quality time with him in the evening. When I returned, the first thing he rained me with "did you make the report? What did your PL say? Hope you managed to make it properly...." I told him that everything went just fine and decided to explain to him everything today. I changed, freshened up and sat down to explain to him about it when suddenly he said, "I read that document. It is so interesting to know that information security has come such a long way. We had similar thing implemented in.........."
He would reply: "Im doing homework".
"Will your teacher scold you if you don't do it?"
"Maybe!"
And one day I asked him finally...
"Who is your teacher?"
"Ajay uncle"(name changed to protect privacy ;) )
That was the day when there was created an uneasiness in me when I saw uncle. I knew deep inside that he could punish, scold or probably even thrash my dad's knuckles!! Uncle's daughter was my sister's classmate. Again I had this uneasiness with her too thinking that when her dad could be my dad's teacher, then probably she could scold my sister too. Too bad! Teachers should be abolished I thought. I was happy though that Amma dint have teachers... Disappointed I let him 'do his homework' and slept on his lap. He allowed me to crawl in and be there and I kept looking at his homework. Strange scribbling he did there ...Worse than me!! I thought only I scribbled like a hen picking on worms. But then..! anyway those were the kinda days I had, the table full of huge maps by a Geologist dad who would bring work to home (and then scribble on them) to be with his children.
Suddenly I came to terms with the present and woke up with a jerk just to realize that I was in the company bus that had almost reached my stop. I was feeling so fresh after those nostalgic memories. My colleague sitting next to me was glaring at me as if two horns were peeping out of my head. I excused myself and got down from the bus.
I reached home, and after dinner sat down going through some work related documents. My dear father sat near me and enquired lovingly;
"What are you doing?"
Without even bothering to look up, almost completely drowned in the document, I replied, "It is a document that I have to understand and prepare a report"...u know..
He proceeded enthusiastically: "What is it about?"
"It is related to my project. It is about ...." And I explained a bit with some strain.
"Ok" and he got up and after some time(no idea exactly how long) he gave me a glass of milk and asked again "How long will you stay awake?"
"Don't know. Will try and finish soon"
"Here. Have this milk. "
"Eeeeee! I don't want that. Please pa..."
"Ok so how is this report going to help you..........."
After a couple of explanations, I quit and said, "oh dad! you wont understand please... it's a bit complicated.....its a new technology that..bla bla"
Next day in the bus I thought about that childhood incident and my behavior last night. My dad... at the busiest sphere of his career with presentations, meetings and seminars going on the whole day, had the energy and patience to come down and explain things to a 4 year old in the way she understood. On the other hand, there was 'Me' whose work pressure was nothing in front of my father's stress level in that age, who could not bother to even reply properly to my aged father. Shey! The incident had left a heavy residue of guilt and shame.
Thinking such, I went to work with a heavy heart thinking of spending some quality time with him in the evening. When I returned, the first thing he rained me with "did you make the report? What did your PL say? Hope you managed to make it properly...." I told him that everything went just fine and decided to explain to him everything today. I changed, freshened up and sat down to explain to him about it when suddenly he said, "I read that document. It is so interesting to know that information security has come such a long way. We had similar thing implemented in.........."
1 comment:
i like this one
love
shru
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