(G)Olden days!!

Old age should be happy!!! For people who think old people are vulnerable and are only worth sitting in bed and watching TV, WRONG!! Elders are indeed our strength and NOT weakness.

I have been blessed to have a good fortune of living with elderly and highly talented people all my life. At every point I had the chance to see highly talented elders and have wondered when I will become like that. But after I saw few gifted elders today I must say that I am still not out of the shock...It looks unbelievable and convincing that talent has no age.

Chandro tomar and Prakasho Tomar are nearing 80 and are world class shooters! Yes, you read correct..Shooters...

At the age when people cannot read properly and loose faith on their physical capability, these 2 grandmothers have not only broken the old belief and 'AndhaVishwaas' of the society but also opened a new gate of opportunity for their grand daughter Neetu Solanki who is also an international shooter. The villagers are speechless and proud of the ladies today and must be wondering what to do with the superstitions and old beliefs..

The story is so so interesting that I cannot write enough. The grannys' coach Mr. Farooq says, he had asked them to do "Chori chori practice"(hehe) without the knowledge of the villagers. They used to stand with a jug filled with water all night for good balance..

Another great achiever, a 90 year old person had trekked his way up to Lonavla and made a record in Limca book of records..(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=do0XuVSuU_0). His advice was in old age you should eat half of what you ate in your younger age, drink water 2 times, do more physical activities and laugh 4 times more :) He was really superb and I could not believe my eyes!

You must watch Satyamev Jayate for more such achievements..I am so happy such a good show also exists between idiotic so called reality shows showing bad and sad stories... like Gumrah and emotional atyachaar.. When children cry, we try to distract them to something different and good.. and not show them "how children cry" videos.. Then why do we have such shows that show how crimes were planned and on the name of truth all the filth of the society is repeatedly displayed...The concept of having shows which show so called 'Reality' is so sad. I dont want my child to watch such sad shows. I would love to make her see such beautiful shows like Satyamev Jayate, Lakhon me ek and so many more good shows....They are so inspiring and motivating.

Looking forward to better shows that showcase talented elders and leaders who have brought India and the society in general to such new and good heights.

One of those stupid terrible travel days.

Today I left on time to catch the 9 o clock direct bus to my office but still somehow I missed it . No problem! I took a share auto (that new white Tata Magic…really superb and comfy) till Tambaram. Fine, then I realized I don’t have change. So after collecting change  from a nearby restaurant, I took a M55 bus which had a board saying Tambaram - Vandaloor. Since my office is in Perungalathur(apparently New Perungalathur which I just realized today) I happily chose a “good” seat. People knowing Vandaloor  would definitely know that Perungalathur comes before Vandaloor. After say a long time, I was wondering why the bus is going in some other route. Probably a roundabout route. So I was OK because I was in no mood to get down and take another bus since it was so hot and tiring. I thought a delay of 15 mins or so would not really matter. After some 15 stops the conductor comes to me and says rudely “why are you sitting here? And what are you playing in your cell?”(enna panra? cella enna nOndindrukka?"). I was not doing anything with my cell. Just replying to an SMS and Hello! It was none of his business. Then came " Why dint you get down in Perungalathur?" I was really surprised by the way he was talking loudly and rudely. I looked around and I could not find any similarity to the place I know as Perungalathur. And I have been knowing that place for around 3 years now! After a bit quarrel and everyone trying to throw me out of the bus, I got down and crossed the road still trying to figure out where I was. I was upset by the way I was thrown out but I decided to "feel" normal. Then another white Tata magic came and I enquired. He said he can drop me back in Tambaram(where I started). Then again I went to Tambaram and from there took an auto rickshaw since even an A/C bus or a good share auto would mean walking from bus stop till inside my office which would easily be 1 ½ kms in the hot sun and I was terribly late. I reached at 11 and here I am lamenting my story to you after working on important mails.

OK now getting back to work. Hope the day treats me well…. Just one more experience which taught me that I work in New Perungalathur...not in Perungalathur :)

Aditi's Birthday

Last Saturday was Aditi's second birthday and I had invited his relatives just to catch up with them...Living in the same city none of us get much chance to see each other. We had a quite day and in the evenig we just went out to my parents' house.

The day went well and after a long time, we had a peaceful weekend. Although there are 2 days for us in the weekend, they just swoosh away every week. Then the another long wait for the two golden days follows. And if we dont make use of the TWO days, especially working females and more especially working moms, then gone...The whole week is screwed up. Washing, sorting clothes, sorting baby's clothes, buying vegetables, fruits for the week and getting ourselves organised so that the week goes smoothly, it looks as if we have nothing better to do!!! For example, for Aditi in a day, we have to plan a breakfast, 10 o clock snack, lunch, juice, milk, 4 snack and then (thankfully they give somethign at 5:45). Then for dinner she eats on her own, whatever we eat for dinner and then rice as staple since we want her to have a deep sleep. Any toddler would need that but in her case we have to pack all this and send to the day care. So we have to plan well in advance of her likes and dislikes, and since its so hot, the food should not get spoilt.... So jam sandwiches, mini idli, mini dosas, bananas, apples, mashed veggies, puffed rice, curd, milk etc is planned well in advance.

So the need for a change was desperately needed by all of us. So I collected all her unused but good toys, collected some from her day care friends' parents and we donated them to an organisation called AID INDIA. AID INDIA deals with issues in Education, health and livelihood.  Their primary goal and mission is quality Education for Every child.You can refer their website www.eurekachild.org  and  www.aidindia.in for more details. I feel thrilled to have done my part... of a noble deed on her special day. Probably she doesnt realize but the blessings of the children who were benefitted reached her. And also I had paid for breakfast for children in an orphanage. They called us early in the morning on Aditi''s birthday and informed us that the children enjoyed the breakfast and they prayed for Adit's long life. I got a tear in my eyes... Orphan children, who are left alone in this big bad world praying for my child who is growing up in a cosy environment. Im sure God will listen to them for sure, but dear God, please give them everything they deserve and make them happy always. That's my only prayer today...on Aditi's Star Birthday!!

Heart-Mind link

Whatever our heart says, our mind doesnt follow it necessarily. Especially when you set up your house. Heart says we should decorate the house in all artistical ways but mind argues the logical placement of things in such a way that keeps Aditi far from danger. For example, ADiti loves to pull things over her. There is this wooden corner stand that I got as a utility thing which will contain many things like phone, phone book, some show pieces etc and also make it easier to sweep the floor but Aditi being very fond of pulling things over her head, will definitely push it and create a dangerous situation for herself. The TV has been kept by us in a very awkward stand thinking of madam's love for light. Everything is strategically placed just because the princess cannot pull and break anything and at the same time, we can also use it easily. :)


The Pooja room, especially the huge Balaji frame, has multiple blinking lights. This is the ultimate refuge for us when she does'nt stop crying sometimes. And everytime she sneaks into that area, she spills kumkum, match sticks, etc etc. But we usually give her leverage to an extent because she is learning a lot through exploring.

Infants in this age are actually thinking and doing things so meaningfully that we can really understand their attempt if we closely notice. For example, I used to think she is blabbering continuously while she is travelling in the car. But when I closely noticed, I realised that she is actually trying to tell about her friends in Amelio, the happenigns of the day and so on. When she shes us, she will try to tell us so much and something that she learnt new that day. She has found out already that if she presses the lever in the dustbin it opens. So after eating her cheese slice, she throws the cover in the dustbin! And she has also learnt that if she spills the kumkum, the whole floor gets reddish. So she simply avoids going near the kumkum dabba. But she is still attracted to the light from the agarbatti which we have lot allowed her to touch for obvious reasons :) She probably understands that it is some untouchable light and something different thasn other lights. So she told my father the other day with a big O shaped mouth...Thatha!! Oooo, Ooooo... Probably their hearts and mind have similar friendship. When her heart wants to touch the light, her mind is saying "Dont touch it, Amma is scared of that light !!!"..

Paavadai

A sense of fear, desire, madness, happiness and possesiveness and many other emotions at the same time hit me when I see Aditi in Paavadai(Full length skirt with blouse/top above)

Eye...scream

Aditi had an eye checkup scheduled in Sankara Netralaya in her 2nd month.

When she was discharged from the ICU, the doctor had asked us to go for a "routine" eye checkup to Sankara Netralaya after the baby completes 1 month.

There we found that almost 99% of premature babies have eye problems. The retina usually completes growing a few weeks to a month after birth in full term babies, but in premature babies the retina is still growing. During the course of this growth, the blood vessels that bring blood to the retina can begin to develop abnormally and can lead to blindness. This abnormal growth is called retinopathy of prematurity(ROP). This situation might also occur when mothers get high BP during delivery. The key is to remain as calm as possible because your getting tensed at the moment is not going to earn you any points. More you get tensed, it directly affects your baby. I was at the workplace when I had to go for the delivery. So by the grace of God(I mean it genuinely) and after mentally chanting Hanuman Chalisa and remembering all my favorite and family Deities to occupy my brain, I had a peaceful delivery without any complications. I surprisingly(famous for my tension) had constant BP level from 1st month till the date of delivery!!

It does not seem that all babies born prematurely are at risk of developing ROP. Generally all babies weighing less than 1500 grams (3 pounds, 5 ounces) or born at or before 32 weeks ofgestation are at more risk of developing ROP. It is also thought that babies who are very sick at birth and who require prolonged oxygen might be at risk of developing ROP even if they dont fit into the above criteria.

Sankara Nethralaya is well managed and has a good staff. There is a baby room where the moms and babies wait for their turn. The doctor performs the exam with the help of an assistant. The assistant helps hold the baby during the examination. The baby’s eyes are dilated with eye drops prior to the examination. The doctor uses an “eyelid speculum” & a “scleral depressor”. An instrument called an “indirect ophthalmoscope” is used; it has a special lens that sends a bright light into the eye, enabling the doctor to examine the retina. A famous and senior pediatric ophthalmologist, Dr. Tarun Sharma(the link given below has his details) tested Aditi. All the babies were screaming so much that for fraction of a second they stop breathing which is when my heart missed a beat. I was scared about Aditi. The doctor handled the situation so well. I was although allowed inside the room, he dint allow me to see the sight of Aditi screaming. My heart pained like anything hearing her scream. When he said, "No problem as yet, come after 2 weeks....We'll check again", I was relieved but anxious about the reason for the next visit. In the next visit, I could'nt relax until he said " No problems. Come after a year". So 2 visits old, my Aditi baby is relieved of that pain for a year more....

Also read http://www.sankaranethralaya.org/pdf/Eye-March2006.pdf.

First outing!

15th July, 2009

In early times they were confined indoors probably as a protection from dust, heat and infection. Me, my husband along with my in-laws took Aditi to nearby ancient Madambakkam Shiva temple on an auspicious day. This was the first trip outside apart from our hospital visits. It was an unexplainable but an excellent feeling. My mother in law placed the baby on the feet of the deity.
While today, the ceremony is limited to a visit to a temple, in ancient times it was far more elaborate. The courtyard of the house was decorated and the family deity worshipped. After auspicious verses were recited and the Gods propitiated, the child was brought out to the sound of a conch and the recital of vedic hymns. The child was carried by the father and made to look at the sun.

Once the mother and baby visit any temple, we can visit anybody's house. This, it seems keeps the baby and mother safe from evil eyes.

Punyaha Vachanam!

9th June, 2009

In India we have lot of rituals and ceremonies right from the birth of a child. Most of the rituals have some scientific reason behind them. The naming ceremony of my baby was conducted and I was amused about the sense of hygene in those days. All the steps performed during the function have very justified reason behind them.

The naming ceremony or Punyaha Vachanam.

Basically it is a cleansing ritual done on the 11th day for hygene of the house where the mother and baby are kept. A thread dipped in turmeric is tied around the waist of the child and to it is fastened a gold amulet. This amulet contains a piece of the umbilical cord and is believed to sustain the link between mother and child. This symbolic link to the mother is believed to protect the child. Scientifically, the piece of the umbilical cord is capable of treating many diseases like bone marrow or leukemia etc..

The procedure is for restoration of ritual purity for the child's parents and close relatives (removal of janam aasoucham ). In the morning after a head pooja was done to the Turmeric Vinaayaka and our family deity. At the end of the Pavamaana sooktham recital, the baby and all of us along with the close relatives were sprinkled with the Holy Water. The whole house was sprinkled with Holy water and Panchagavyam (cows ghee, milk, curd, urine, and cowdung in proper proportions). We all also consumed the panchagavyam for ritual purifications. Then baby was kept first time in the cradle and Naamakaranam (naming ceremony) was done on the same day at an auspicious moment. The priests had come from Shringeri matam and were very learned people.

It is better to have it done with proper priests. Of course, if you are not able to get one you may do it yourself. In that case you can use the following links for your help.

You can find the slokas of Punyahavachanam here:

http://www.slokas.com/slokas/vedicrituals/tamil/karmas/karmas.html

The items needed for the Punyahavachanam:

http://www.htnt.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=57&Itemid=1

http://www.vvgc.org/new/pl_punyaha.php

http://www.vedagamasudha.org/print_punyavachanam.html

Aditi!

Aditi, meaning limitless is considered as the mother of all the celestial gods.

She is the mother of Adityas(the devas) and wife of Rishi Kashyapa. Aditi herself is considered as the divine wisdom, the goddess of space, consciousness, the past, the future, and fertility. In fact she is also considered as the female Brahma, the creator.
When the devas lost their kingdom to king Bali, the powerful 'Danava', Vishnu was born to Aditi as Vamana avatar to defeat the powerful Bali and restore the lost kingdom to devas and make Indra the king of Devalok.

Source:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aditi
http://www.webonautics.com/mythology/avataar_vamana.html

New life!

Real looong time since I last wrote. After reading one of my friend's blog, I tried to blog again. I have been writing this article since days. to make this one post, but nonetheless, it is just a try after more than a year.

Aditi, the name of a new life I got on May 21st, 2009. Well, they say a woman gets a new life when she delivers a child but I really experienced it.

One fine Thursday, I went to work as usual. My father who is an advisor to a company is called for around 5-10 days in a month. That day we all left home for our respective work. My parents went to Egmore and I went to Sholinganallur, both in opposite directions. On my way I went to my house, met my father in law, took some things I needed for attending a cousin’s wedding that evening.
It was my last lap before maternity leave. I was asked to do some research on a Security product unlike others who were working on deliverables. I was already feeling a bit strained in my 8th month but I wanted to do some really worthy work before going on a long leave. My friend had joined back after maternity leave and I was eager to listen to her experiences. She came to my workstation and narrated her experience of a premature delivery of baby. Many things were new to my ears and I felt grateful for so many new tips. There are many things that might prove helpful for would be mothers.

Baby calling. will continue later ...

So that day, at around 1 we got up for lunch. I felt restless and called up my doctor and told her the symptoms. She asked me to directly come to the hospital. She asked me to get myself registered 2 days ago just to be on the safe side. Not predicting anything, I simply obeyed her, and informed my parents that Im going to the hospital. My dad said he'll come there. Although I wanted to tell him not to bother as it might be something negligible, I somehow chose to keep quite. He along with my mother started from office. My mom also being in the same company as my dad, took permission and left. The hospital is an half an hour drive from my work place. I reached at around 2 and after a quick checkup the doctor took up charge and said an urgent C section needs to be done as the fluid is almost over and the baby is in distress with double the heart rate. I was in a total shock after I heard her heart beating at double rate. They prepared me for the operation and called the surgeon, anaesthetist and the other required people. While they were preparing for the caesarian, my mom walked into the labour room from where I was to be wheeled to the operation theatre. My mother was informing her mother that I was in the hospital in an emergency. All the elders were tensed. My mother was trying to hide her fear, but I could sense her strange behaviour. When they rolled me on a wheel chair to the operation theater, I saw my dad always encouraging face turning pale. I had never seen my dad in a tense situation before. He looked terribly worried (obviously)... When asked he explains now that he was otherwise used to seeing me with bindi, earings, 2 chains(one mangalsutra), bangles, anklets, red vermilion/sindoor, so he felt nervous to see me in just a operation theatre gown.

Baby is crying... i'll continue later...

I felt numb... i still remember that feeling. I was not able to believe that Im inside the theatre so soon. I had just had a scan 2 days back and the doctor had told my baby is fine and healthy with a good weight. The anaesthetist tried to lighten my mood. They tied my eyes. I could sense them working and pulling out the baby. Finally I heard her shrieking at 3:08 p.m.....Then I lost consiousness but faintly remember my doctor Dr. Yashoda coming after some time and showing my pink piece of flesh to me. I slept off.. Again I remember my doctor talking to me and telling others how brave I was. I felt terrible for being so indecent to sleep away when she had come to see me. Only later I was told that in such cases ladies get high BP which causes lack of oxygen in babies and that might cause eye problems. Even now during Aditi's routine eye checkup, we saw all other babies having eye problems. My doctor says that because I reached in time, I kept my cool, did'nt get hyper and timely operation, the baby is safe. My friendly advise to would be moms, never get tensed and prepare yourself well in advance for emergencies like healthcare/doctor/hospital number, get yourself registered well in advance, your insurance number etc.

Later when I woke up to feel the stitches, I was told that my baby was rushed to another hospital to keep her in the New born ICU, since she was more than 1 month premature, she needed to be protected and nurtured like she would be in the womb. Though the NICU experience is worth another post, we soon came home after a couple of days. A very ICU kind of environment was maintained by my parents till she completed a month. Even now, visitors have to wash their hands and feet before approaching the baby. Soon we held a naming ceremony with few close relatives and named her Aditi. Now my stay in my parents' place is coming to an end. I am happy to go back to my family with a granddaughter that the whole family always wanted but sad for leaving back my parents. They will miss me and Aditi badly.

Aditi seeks my attention badly now.. I better rush.. More updates in future posts.

Sholingar

Early morning at 5 we left our house for a place called Sholingar which is roughly around 3 hours from our residence in Chennai. My parents who are visiting many Vishnu temples(part of 108 vaishnava temples) have come down to Chennai to visit some of the temples in and around Chennai. Just fun filled relaxed trips.

They visited Ahobilam last week which has 9 temples. In Ahobila, Andhra Pradesh, the nine forms are as follows:

(1) Chhatra-vata-narasimha (seated under a banyan tree)
(2) Yogananda-narasimha (who blessed Lord Brahma)
(3) Karanja-narasimha
(4) Uha-narasimha
(5) Ugra-narasimha
(6) Kroda-narasimha
(7) Malola-narasimha (With Laksmi on His lap)
(8) Jvala-narasimha (an eight armed form rushing out of the pillar)
(9) Pavana-narasimha (who blessed the sage Bharadvaja)

The red sun from the car looked fiery but soothing to the skin, eyes and senses. We were so touched by the nature’s beauty as always. On our way to Sholingar which is on the highway that connects Chennai to Vellore, we saw some old Chola period temples. One huge rock cut temple which was carved in, looked magnificient and classic. It was made by the same artisans who carved the famous Mahabalipuram. Old Pallava Grantha, Yoga Narasimha statue could be found there.

We took a few minutes halt and proceeded towards Sholingar, where there are the twin hills of Yoga Narasimha and Anjaneya (Hanuman). That is the place where the legendry Prahlada’s father: Hiranyaksha was split tore open by Narasimha (the lion-man)who was none other than Lord Vishnu. He appeared in that form as Hiranyaksha had received a boon from Lord Shiva that he should not be killed by any man or animal, neither inside the palace, nor outside his palace; neither in the day nor at the night. With a powerful boon like that, he was defeating all Devas and creating havoc in the world and destroying innocent Rishis, men, women and children. So Lord Vishnu at the request of the Devas, burst out from a pillar as a lion-man(neither man nor animal) in the evening(neither day nor night) and sat on the doorstep of Hiranyaksha’s palace(neither inside nor outside) and tore open his belly, thus not killing him but making him as good as dead. At Ahobilam temples the tourists can still visit the place where the scene occurred (as per the experts) and the water there is Red in color.

Sholingar, is a beautiful and very raw natural place where the so-called development has not yet polluted the calm of the people and nature. There are these 2 hills, the big and small hill. Yoga Narasimhar(Lord Narasimha at peace) resides on the bigger hill and Sri Anjaneya sits in meditation on the smaller hill.The hill looks like a Lion and the another hill looks like a sitting elephant

Laddooooo....

23^rd June, 2007.

Early morning at 3, I heard some muffled voices. Woke up to find Shailaja akka(actually my mami but my choice to call her akka) quite as usual, my granny hyper tensed (as usual??!), Shanti akka (first mami but again my choice to call her…) walking around hurriedly here and there doing lot of work (as usual..) and my second uncle murmuring in a low voice but all in an unusual time.. Took me around 5 minutes to realise that Shailaja Akka wants to go to hospital! The expected date was to be July 15^th!! And she doesn’t even have those pains. Granny insists to wait for some more time till labour pains start. No one to drive the car since no one knows how to. Shanti akka has learnt but could never venture out alone. Finally we decide and leave. Shanti Akka drives the car and I am needed along with them. 3 children sleeping inside. Half of them feel, I should stay back, half of them feel I should go along. Finally I go along. 3:45 a.m. the baby boy is born! No pain and complications. Was this some compensation for all the complications and tensions in the first delivery? Whatever… Anuj is here and the house has the fourth player now. Someone asked me if it is a crèche… I said “No it is the joy of a joint family!” One of the kiddos is always inside the baby room…playing…jumping around the baby... laughing .. and singing ”Laddoooo ”, “Kutttiiiiiiiiiii” or whatever they feel like...

Nailed down!

I read in one of my friend's blog about her vow to quit nail biting I thought hah! there was a time when I tried and finally had these long nails. Whate made me do that was an article in a Tamil magazine in which I saw the pic of a baby who was born with nails on the head(yes the nails that her mother had been eventually biting while carrying the baby or before). I felt a chill run through my nerves and decided that I will NEVER EVER bite nails.

Talking about nails, I've always had the urge to grow them and have those beautifully manicured hands soft like fur. But with the kind of attention I give to my overall health, Manicure is the last thing I could even think of. Although I do agree that there are people(including men) who do take care of these thigns even with tough schedules. And with these Virtual nails, nail extentions, acrylics and what not.. simply everyone seems to be having those beautiful nails.. I envy and admire people who give ample time to themselves. But most of my time generally goes for others around me. So here is a small help from my side to others like me. This is a link where you can get some tips for nice, healthy and beautiful nails.

P.S. It is not only for girls, as most of the girls despise men with dirty nails. :)

The annoying thing?!!?

I just came across this crazy frog pic in my friend's orkut profile who is one of the craziest fan of the crazy frog i've seen.

The crazy frog or 'The Annoying thing' as they call it apparently started as a hobby of imitating sounds and became a rage in the whole world. Daniel, a 17 year old was making some sounds that resembled a 2 gear moped to make his friends laugh. And as fate would have it, that was loaded on the net and happened to reach the right place (a ringtone king Jamster). Jamster gave it a face of a formula I car and put it on a site called Insanity test in which the user was supposed to see the whole race without laughing. This of course pulled more attention.

Another friend gave the current Frog look to the sound. The annoying thing then became a big controversial, amusing, entertaining thing for the kids, elders and almost everyone noticed it. Here is a glimpse of the 'Annoying thing'. Later on many albums and remixes have come out and now Crazy Frog has become the Most Wanted Frog.. Here are 2 of the most famous videos that claim the fame..

The youngest in the house!

Who says that the youngest are the most pampered ones? Tell me who is it?? I have a whole lot of points to prove that wrong. yeah! The fact is that the eldest of the whole gang gets the whole attention all the times. I have numerous evidences to prove that. When the first child steps into the world, the whole family, friends, kith and kin, neighbors and simply everyone is so thrilled to bits that they don't leave a single stone unturned to see that million dollars worth smile on the face of the baby! Ok thats fair and agreeable. But... when the poor little second child lands after some years of pampering the elder one and making it feel as if the world is under its feet, it simply refuses to accept any changes! People have so much experience now that they dont care if the second one howls her lungs out. She is just named inhuman and a cry baby. The first one gets the best "first bday", the best "first day in school", "the most tensed and worried year during board exams", "the whole bunch of pattu pavadais and fancy clothes", "all silly stupid toys which cant be generally used for playing since the child is simply overloaded with toys", "the best farewell preparation", "the most emotional see-off for college", "regular letters from the whole family flooding into the hostel" and so on...(tired of rewinding the thoughts...)

The second ones simply get the second hand toys, hurried admission and sudden realization of a school one day, used toys(or say unused toys), and scratches from the first one because the freedom and the whole attention was now scattered into 2 kids and the first one lost the glorious monopoly. The extra years of chocolates, love, attention is all bundled into a sibling rivalry and it takes ages to erase the marks and accord to peace.

Yes, I am a living witness but some time back recently my sister and me talked a lot about it and now we miss each other every day for all the fun, laughter, smiles, tears, hatred, love and the bond of being sisters.When someone who does'nt have a sister asks me now about my elder sister and how it is to have an elder sister, I proudly say that having an elder sister is a joy and I am lucky to have a sister who loves me so much. There are days when she has been nervous about my monthly pains, anxieties and worries, visited temples and perform archana for my marks, laughed on my sick jokes, get excited of our huge earings collection and fought for my problems. I am happy to be the youngest in the house :) And I also accept that she has had her share of sharing her whole life and the love of our parents and family with me which she gracefully accepted(although with difficulty :)). Her share of jealousies and anger....which dont matter any more. There are times when the parents try and 'protect' one from the other. Right or wrong, that does create splinters in the relationship. I know of people who give all the attention to the second child and leave the elder one in the safer hands of the grand parents, with all good intentions. But it turns out to be sour too. Its all luck and I believe strongly that its in our hands to resolve the natural rivalry. After all this useless 'Gyaan', I declare that 'My Sister is the Best!!'

I love you Jillu....

Mapping your Goals

“…. Imagine yourself strolling on the beautiful sea shore. A clear blue sky is above you, with just a few white fluffy clouds. Trees sway gently in a warm summer breeze, waves ripple softly against the shoreline and you feel the texture of the wet sand as it squishes up between your toes….As you walk along this safe and relaxing shore, your attention is drawn suddenly to a small blue bottle poking slightly from the sand. When you pick up the bottle the top comes open, and to your amazement there appears in front of you a large blue shining eyed genie. The genie says, “Your wish is my command. Any “thing” that you truly desire I will obey. Any “thought” that you hold in your heart I will help you achieve.”

This, in fact, is our subconscious mind which will obey any wish from us (the conscious mind) as a command!

“The most important thing about goals is having one.” –GEOFFRY F. ABERT

Goal Mapping, by Brian Mayne focuses on the first step towards achieving success; setting goals then mapping them to our actions and achieving them. It introduces the reader with the inner self and gives a refreshing insight from the otherwise chaotic lifestyle of a common man. Be it any economic, social, cultural status, every living human today has his own share of stress. The ultimate combination of ancient wisdom, extensive research and study has been elaborately explained for effective goal mapping. While the traditional goal setting focuses on the left brain by words and continuous repetition of words, to force the goals into our sub conscious ‘genie’ brain, the Goal mapping technique triggers both the left and right brain and directly stimulates the subconscious brain to concentrate on and achieve the goals more quickly through combination of words, pictures and symbols.

Simple yet a sure shot key to realizing our most latent thoughts, this book gives us various tips and facts to improvise our life instantly. For e.g. an excerpt from the book says; “There are three main aspects that make any given thought stronger and a 'dominant command'. They are: repetition, duration and emotion.” The author proves it through several examples that the longer the duration of time that we hold the belief, the stronger it grows and when we add majority of our emotions to it, it becomes a sure shot success.

The book is an instruction manual for achievement and explains a universal philosophy of success that is based on natural law and motivational psychology; the foundations on which the Goal Mapping is built. Gradually we realize that the ideas and techniques in this book are not artificial shortcuts but very natural ways that have been used by all achievers in the world history. It also answers the cause behind the fact that most of the scientists and greatest men were not formally educated but still had the envisioning capacity to achieve. The reason is their Goal Mapping nature.

Conscious (master) and subconscious (the ‘genie’)brain are the captain and the crew.

A Picture is worth a Thousand Words. The left brain and words have a much weaker connection which is why a goal that is communicated only in words must be re-written hundreds of times to achieve the same power as one created through pictures or symbols. Right brain stimulants: music, images, colour. We all think in pictures. To achieve a positive mental balance you must lead from the right and manage from the left.

The seven steps of goal mapping have been designed as a complete and self contained system for achieving success but have been designed to work in alignment with natural and universal laws of manifestation.

The seven principles of LIFT (Life, Information, For Transcendence, an organization started by the author) are strategies for personal empowerment or suggested ways of being.

1. Raise your awareness: Know where you stand
2. Develop Possibility Consciousness: Be open to the world
3. Find Balance: Don’t overdo anything.
4. Be on Purpose: Don’t allow your mind to get diverted
5. Become Fully Response- Able- The response that we show to life is what matters.
6. Maintain a Positive Focus- Even a negative thought can ruin our goals.
7. Involve to Evolve

Seven natural Laws of manifestation:

1. Have belief in yourself and your goal
2. Balance your goals
3. Live in the moment
4. State your goals in present tense
5. State your goals in positive tense. Always be positive in your thoughts and even words. When you say that you can’t, your subconscious mind believes in it and follows it literally. Change all your negative statements to positive supporting statements. Positive thinking is a strategy
6. State your goals in personal tense
7. Allow for lag time: It is perfectly OK if the goal gets delayed to become a truth. It is important that we achieve it.

DRIVE, ATTITUDE AND CONFIDENCE : THE DAC FACTOR

The greatest unexplored territory in the world is the space between our ears – BILL O’BRIEN

The book displays the method of fast track transformation of the inner person by no shortcuts but by a smart way of identifying the right goal and concentrating and time managing to achieve it.

This one step, choosing a goal and sticking to it, changes everything. – Scott Reed

Short term, medium and long term goals should be achieved in days, weeks or months, and years respectively.

If it be for my highest good and the highest good of all, then

Let me be an instrument of goodness spiritually and personally and reach the highest peak professionally

If you think you can, you can If you think you can’t, you can’t

And either way, you’ll prove yourself right!

Takeaways for freshers, managers, leaders and goal setters:

With real life examples from his workshops and practical exercises to realize one’s long term, short term and medium term goals, this book enables a virtual picture of your goal to float all over the mind and gives tremendous urge to fulfill it.

One example about a angry young woman altered my professional life and my personal attitude significantly. The lady apparently was unhappy and burst out during one of the workshops held by the author saying, “I hate my job, but I’ve got to do it to pay my bills. How can you stand there telling me that I should feel good about it? You just don’t know what you’re talking about.” Those words that I have heard at least more than a dozen times from different people at different times, triggered the inner thoughts in me and I realized that we might or might not enjoy our work and the environment, but it is those dominant thoughts about hating it, more than the work itself, that cause the feelings of bitterness and anger.

Acceptance or at least being ‘OK’ about the situation can help us take control, clear the mental chaos and provide numerous other alternatives which are not visible otherwise. Obviously within a week’s time, I got more responsibility, hardly felt annoyed with my job and started living life with more enthusiasm and jest, looking forward to the numerous other things that I used to do. I started working for the NGO that I was part of before joining my current job; I started studying for a certification and of course wrote this book review. Trying it on me has been the most rewarding experience for my self as a whole. Ideal time taken to read such a book is a calm weekend. I took around a week to study and absorb it as it is a task oriented book which keeps the reader active throughout with not a page of boredom.

The best highlight of the book is that it is full of useful proverbs and sayings throughout, with relevance to each chapter. My favorite one in the book is; 'Do everything whole heartedly and you will succeed; there is so little competition'. I have written them all, spiral bound them and kept on my desk at work. Every morning, I start my day with a new proverb that constantly reminds me a part of my chosen goal. Yes, this goal chosen needs to be multidimensional and should be able to accommodate wisdom, said in so many ways that it reinforces and strengthens the urge to reach the said goals.

From a TV Serial Phobic cum Maniac

A weekday in my life is more or less same usually. I came back yet another day in the evening and dropped myself mechanically before the TV. My mother was(also mechanically) screaming at me as usual asking me to eat. I ignore. My ears are used to that set of frequency landing in them. She swears. I still ignore. I am meditating upon the dialogues delivered by the main protagonist to the villain. Even the worst enemy in her life receives the most loving words and patience from the ever calm heroine of our serial. She refuses to be strict, rude or even straightforward to the ghastly bloody fools in her life. The villain tells her horrible things and she has no change in her facial expression (not even a hint of impatience). A plain face. She must be a saint. My mother gives up and then I get up during the commercial break and change and freshen up. I come back and eat something and again settle down (or lie down) in the sofa right in front of the screen.

Now another of those females… First of all in the mostly male dominated movies and serials, I don’t really realize how females started getting the most important roles. Anyway since they started realizing the importance (or required indulgence) of women, they hurt their image with her most idiotic responses in all situations. In serials, everyone has pre-marital and post-marital affairs, everyone seems to have 2 spouses somehow (accidentally or intentionally), and all children are too mature than their age to shatter their parents to pieces with their tongues, the grand parents are too old and some great great great grand parents still survive with the healthiest body. For past 3 weeks or so I’m watching them intently and you won’t believe me for what I say. There are these 3 consecutive serials in this channel. The channel has probably rented the city prison for the shooting and tried to get the maximum out of it. They are shooting jail scene in all the 3 prime time serials. All the 3 serials’ heroines are in the prison for something they haven’t done (obviously) and then all the three have been fighting a useless (with actually no solid point in any hearing) court case with useless lawyers (same set on all the 3 serials again), 3 rented rowdies have tried to poison each one of protagonist respectively, all the 3 have left their humanity and goodness and have now decided to fight against the villains now (together!) and the worst of the worst the so powerful and resourceful villains are suddenly being cheated and hit by these once spineless heroines, all of them have the same recording technique where the good (wo)man records the truth using their respectives cellphones from the bad man’s mouth. WHy do you need three serials for the same storyline??? I mean where is the creativity man? If I have the same scenes, same plots, same fights, same sequence of events resulting in same endings, then WHY the hell does someone have to see 3 different serials. It is like a re-telecast with a choice of different genre of heroines.. They all are old enough to be grand-moms and fat, fatter and fattest. They all cry with the same amount of glycerine and smile only in the serial’s startup song.

I have become this fanatically TV phobic but still sitting and staring at the screen till 10 at least. I swear that I am not a couch potato at all but when everyone around is watching that stupid, monotonous, gruesome, irritating colorful screen, you are left with lesser options. Actually no one is watching them... I prefer to bring my laptop to the living room and watch that screen for the same number of hours submitting my lamentations to my blog than seeing those stupid ‘human-like’ white/pink color tinted wax models doing crazy things just because they are paid some 5 digit money. I pity the actors sometimes and also feel angry towards them for being a part in ruining our peaceful lives. The actors in the serials don’t even probably know what their role is supposed to portray. They simply clad those childhood clothes and bathe with the filthy make up and come for the shots and throw up the lines they are asked to by heart. There is hardly any lip sync. They probably just chew some chewing gum instead of trying to speak those tough lines and the camera man covers up the scene and frame by shooting the roof, furniture, clothes, hairdo (even the hideous bindis) and the general art work done by the art team.

The rate at which the television is overtaking (taking over) our lives is mind blowing and soon there will be a stage when people will ask the TV wallahs for solutions to their problems in life (little knowing that they are the root cause of every problem). I mean those customized TV serials when supposedly you write a letter to them describing your issue to those guys and they will take that problem as a theme for the next episode. Something like that would be interesting. But here all of the most unusual and irrational issues crop up like conceiving on the eve of marriage (the father of the baby could be the bridegroom’s brother…yuck), loosing your most important family- property documents, marrying another girl ‘by mistake’, someone trying to kill you mistaking you for someone else, you being the only target for the leader in the industry (although you have just made a startup…. and as if he has no job to give a damn for an insect), a son of a family business tycoon loosing money and coming to streets because of the single lose in his first ever contract (as if the father bothered to even let him handle that much of an important contract), every other guy being a hi-fi rowdy and their children being bigger hi-fi ‘yo’ rowdies . I mean common, grow up. You don’t see those things in your everyday life! How much of fake things can you produce? Even the most family oriented good stories finally end up as those commercial stupid bragging extravagant set business serials.. A lower middle class family serial will also end up somehow(like the daughters getting married to rival business mans) ending up in those rich bungalows with artificial set ups and people sleeping with their diamond sets on.

I am in no anti-television bureau or anything but seeing the way the families are getting addicted to the television gives me a jolt or a fit sometimes. When I see the girl in the TV serial cheating her parents and meeting the same boy who has the most negative character in the serial, I move sides on my well settled couch feeling uneasy. What must be running in my parents’ mind when they see all this? How will my father be growling inside seeing the arrogant girl cheating her parents! I immediately get up and go in. My blood boils seeing such serials. What if they show some normal ‘human’ girl who actually goes to school, college and then to work and has those usual problems at work which every one of us has and show us how to deal with them intelligently without earning foes at the work place!!! Why cant the directors and script writers oblige us with such things! I bet those things will work. After all we all study, we all work, we all have problems like saving problems, human relationship problems, communication problems, how to start problems etc. I simply can’t understand why we need to see SUCH serials!! Not only that. When in the prime time serial, the mother coolly steals her own son’s money, sells her own daughter in law’s jewels to get new jewels for her daughter(of course without telling them), how would a daughter in law or a mother in law feel? I feel so impatient and irritated on such crazy unnecessary serials!

Gone are the days when we used to get up early on Sundays and get ready (take bath early!!! And eat breakfast unusually earlier than usual) just to see Ramayana(later Mahabharata) followed by Mickey mouse. Aha those days were heavenly. I can bask in the memories still. In the evening we had hours to spend with parents, family friends, friends (yes we had friends….which is more or less getting an alien word for kids), relatives and neighbors (another to-be alien word). We played all sorts of games like ‘Pathar phod’, ‘Lock and key’, ‘Airoplane’, ‘Barbie doll’s family’, ‘Langdi tang’, ‘Poshampa bhai poshampa’, the list goes on and you wont even realize hours passing by.

Why don’t they make live shows which actually inspire the younger generation? They have all the time for Nach Baliyes and Bigg Bosses, but imagine a similar show with similar celebrities doing a live work with some street children, animals, mentally challenged children, women who struggle with their mental capacity and cycles of their life, men who are alcoholic and trying to cope with life and millions of such issues….real issues. Why doesn’t a producer produce a reality show where in the celebrities simply dance/sing/act or entertain such people? Are they not part of the deserving audience? Are’nt they human beings? Come on people. Grow up. Come out of your prams and face the REAL world. The world is not a Page 3 column. The media should be ashamed of giving them more footage and encouraging them instead of giving them pieces of their minds. Working with an NGO has become just a fashion statement for the people in the media and the entertainment industry today. Anyone who dares to do something different for the people is tagged a ‘show off’! Different people like Revathy, Ranjini Kant, Sushmita sen and the like are treated as outcasts and looked as documentary items… I don’t know where my lamenting will end up. But this is a heart felt agony from a common TV fan.

I would also like to admit that there are some good creative shows which charge you up for the week ahead and challenge your creative capability. That being a separate blog for future, I end this up now with some wishes for them to improve or they'll get more of this crap from me.

The Floating experience….

Its 09:54 a.m…. hot cardamom tea in front of me sending off aroma with the steam, a dialcomm yelling out somewhere, the A/C seems like its been in a deep slumber humming soothingly. Project is over. Contemplating whether to study, google, browse, send forwards (which I don’t like), play minesweeper, call up my friend who is a housewife and doesn’t have much to do either or..... So I leave for the library. That will serve me 2 purposes, reading and dozing as well... if possible.

Homework

I remember those days vividly still. I would come running out to the door hearing the scooter's noise. Of the thousands of scooters running inside the colony, I knew which brought me back my dad. As soon as he came I would shout mixed words in a childish glee with a huge toothy smile. Coming home was always a thing my dad looked forward to as we welcomed with squeals of laughter and joy. He would go to ship for 15 days shift, which were confused, and troubled days for mother as we showered her with so many unanswerable questions. When he came back, I would try revolting by not talking to him for some time (maximum 5 minutes) trying to pretend to be cross with him. And then I would laugh uncontrollably with him, jump, dance and climb all over him and would not let him sit down at all! Every day was festive when dad was home.
He taught me rhymes with almost all famous Hindi/Tamil movie tunes making it easy to by-heart all the rhymes (I still remember some of the most complex ones). He made up funny, exciting songs for every occasion through which he taught me lots of important lessons like 'u should always eat home cooked food made by Amma' and the likes... you know... I used to sit on his warm and cozy lap and listen to the innumerable songs and stories he had.

When I was ill, I used to wake him up every 5 minutes asking..

"What are you doing?"

He would reply: "Im doing homework".

"Will your teacher scold you if you don't do it?"

"Maybe!"

And one day I asked him finally...

"Who is your teacher?"

"Ajay uncle"(name changed to protect privacy ;) )

That was the day when there was created an uneasiness in me when I saw uncle. I knew deep inside that he could punish, scold or probably even thrash my dad's knuckles!! Uncle's daughter was my sister's classmate. Again I had this uneasiness with her too thinking that when her dad could be my dad's teacher, then probably she could scold my sister too. Too bad! Teachers should be abolished I thought. I was happy though that Amma dint have teachers... Disappointed I let him 'do his homework' and slept on his lap. He allowed me to crawl in and be there and I kept looking at his homework. Strange scribbling he did there ...Worse than me!! I thought only I scribbled like a hen picking on worms. But then..! anyway those were the kinda days I had, the table full of huge maps by a Geologist dad who would bring work to home (and then scribble on them) to be with his children.

Suddenly I came to terms with the present and woke up with a jerk just to realize that I was in the company bus that had almost reached my stop. I was feeling so fresh after those nostalgic memories. My colleague sitting next to me was glaring at me as if two horns were peeping out of my head. I excused myself and got down from the bus.
I reached home, and after dinner sat down going through some work related documents. My dear father sat near me and enquired lovingly;

"What are you doing?"

Without even bothering to look up, almost completely drowned in the document, I replied, "It is a document that I have to understand and prepare a report"...u know..

He proceeded enthusiastically: "What is it about?"

"It is related to my project. It is about ...." And I explained a bit with some strain.

"Ok" and he got up and after some time(no idea exactly how long) he gave me a glass of milk and asked again "How long will you stay awake?"

"Don't know. Will try and finish soon"

"Here. Have this milk. "

"Eeeeee! I don't want that. Please pa..."

"Ok so how is this report going to help you..........."

After a couple of explanations, I quit and said, "oh dad! you wont understand please... it's a bit complicated.....its a new technology that..bla bla"

Next day in the bus I thought about that childhood incident and my behavior last night. My dad... at the busiest sphere of his career with presentations, meetings and seminars going on the whole day, had the energy and patience to come down and explain things to a 4 year old in the way she understood. On the other hand, there was 'Me' whose work pressure was nothing in front of my father's stress level in that age, who could not bother to even reply properly to my aged father. Shey! The incident had left a heavy residue of guilt and shame.

Thinking such, I went to work with a heavy heart thinking of spending some quality time with him in the evening. When I returned, the first thing he rained me with "did you make the report? What did your PL say? Hope you managed to make it properly...." I told him that everything went just fine and decided to explain to him everything today. I changed, freshened up and sat down to explain to him about it when suddenly he said, "I read that document. It is so interesting to know that information security has come such a long way. We had similar thing implemented in.........."

cosmopol-IT-an

Celebrations and Joy...when almost whole of the country celebrates the victory of the good over the bad!!. Well Im not goign to give a grandma story about Dussehra and why it is celebrated in India.
Just that when I saw the Dussehra pictures sent by my company's Admin dept, it struck me that I feel so good to be from this country. Ive noticed many of my colleagues and friends in IT industry posting beautiful blogs that talk of many things and those who've gone to some other country who start blogging about how our country is different from others.. They start realizing the good (and even bad) things once they're there. I happened to read many of such blogs, which stir some thoughts in my mind about how multi-ethnic we are becoming.
Not that I'm alone, away from parents and family, resulting in such a blabering and craving for my culture. Of course I'm with my parents and also had my own share of Dussehra celebrations, Navaratri Golus, Vijayadashmi, Saraswati Pooja etc, but maybe Im just lucky to realize this while Im here and not after going to a far away land. Its not that this is all new either but when you see everyone at your workplace wearing bright colorful traditional Ghagras, Jewellery, shining bindis, Kurtas, Duppattas, anklets and swirling, forgetting the whole world and dancing their shoes off, you feel somehow re-energized. Although I dint join the fun, I could clearly make out with the noise coming from the floor above.
I realize that its so difficult for the people coming from their small remote hometowns not having seen much of the world and getting placed in big companies resulting in relocation, trying to get in terms with the alien culture. It is stranger with a new language, lack of respect in other states for fellow-citizens from other states, new food habits, and sometimes-unfriendly surroundings. But all that is forgotten and gone when these festivals come. I mean almost all that is. Be it Ganpathy celeberations in Maharashtra, Durga pooja in Bengal, Gujarat, and other states, Onam celebrations in Kerala or common festivals like Id, Holi, Diwali or Christmas. These festivals were highly regional but now celebrated and anticipated by everyone or at least all IT professionals for sure. And when the companies celebrate traditional days, it just urges even the most sleepy introverts to open up their shells and join hands with people from other cultures. Truly a pure cosmopolitan industry IT Industry is and it is helping our generation in mingling and knowing other cultures from our own country. Else which Kashmiri would have known about the Ganpati celebrations, which Maharashtrian would have known about Onam and which malayalee would have done Garba(of course except peopel in defense forces who would travel the length and breadth of the country). Probably that's why someone said, 'Reality is stranger than fiction.' Who would have thought of such a transformation in just a few years! So with all other good thigns, one more good thing IT has doen is that it has lessened the religional and regional wars... This revolution is a good sign for a progressive nation for sure!